I’m goin’ to Kansas City! Kansas City, here I come! (Part 1) by Bill Zuben This is my first attempt at a blog (Bill’s latest online garbage). Most of you cannot make it out to Kansas City for the USBC Convention. So I’ll share with you some of the events and the behind-the-scenes stuff you won’t read about anywhere else. The trip started simply enough with Don Hamilton and I arriving at Tampa International with a couple of hours to spare. Wanda Rottloff and Juanita Motsinger of the St. Pete WBA had already checked in and were waiting for their third member, Bobbie Spearman. After we got off the shuttle, it was clear sailing through security. I didn’t realize how long that line could be when you walk straight through. Don had a rough time getting through when they tried to find a pair of needle-nose pliers in his computer bag and wire clippers in his C-PAP. When we did get through, Bobbie was sitting there waiting for everyone else. Looking forward to a three-hour flight on Southwest, we took the extra time to go over to “Chili’s Too” for a light meal. I found a pay phone, got the number and called into the radio station to do my Tip of the Week on Let’s Go Bowling on WTAN 1340. I wolfed down my meal and got back to the payphone as the show called back and I did my ten minutes. This week the tip was about the second E of BEEF. I have done Balance and Eyes. Now it was time for Elbow. Next month’s Golden Nugget will feature the whole system. Holding boarding passes for B42 and B43, it looked like Don and I would be the last ones to arrive in Kansas City. But as we headed down the aisle, I spotted a ‘stewardus’ (I believe that’s the male version of ‘stewardess’) leaning across the exit row. I had to ask him if the seats were taken. He asked if I would be willing and able to handle the door in case of an emergency. For that extra legroom, you bet I could. He also asked Don. I took window. He took aisle. We had a nice flight. Don brought along the ideal DVD to watch on the plane – "Snakes on a Plane". It sure made the flight go faster. Or at the least, I wanted to land faster. Even the Thrifty counter was empty when we got there. Isn’t there a big bowling convention going on this week? Got my first chance to drive a PT Cruiser. I never got one before because my wife thinks they look like an old gangster car. How come it would cost $280 to rent a car from Tuesday to Saturday, but only $210 for Tuesday to Sunday? We didn’t plan to get a car until we realized the host hotel – Westin Crown Center - was three miles from the convention center. From the airport to the hotel was eighteen miles. That’s the furthest I remember an airport being from downtown. We had to have some confusion at check-in. “Yes sir, Mr. Zuben. You requested a non-smoking room with two beds. We have a Park Suite with a king-size Murphy bed.” What part of the ‘two beds’ didn’t he get? I asked if there were two beds in the room. Of course not. Well, we need two beds. He found a room for us. “That will be Room 1342.” I guess they’re not superstitious here. Up the elevator to the thirteenth floor. All the way done the hall to an end room. Maybe we got a suite with two beds I thought. Don tried his key in the door. No luck. I tried mine. Same result. So I trek back up the hallway, down the elevator, and back to the reservation desk. The guy who checked us in is no where to be found. I explain to the Trainee that our keys to Room 1342 did not work. She looked it up. She told me there was nobody in that room. “Of course,” I told her. “He’s waiting outside the room with our bags.” Mystery gets solved. The envelope read 1342, but the keys were for Room 1007. 1342 was the suite. 1007 was our new room. So back up the elevator. Down the hallway, explain the situation to Don. Grab our bags. Trek back up the hall. Catch the elevator down three flights and find our room. Ta-da!! Unpack and head downstairs for a bite to eat. Interesting seeing Jeff Boje talking with Mike Carroll and Neil Stremmel. We order the best $10 hamburger I ever had – well my first too. Sitting at a nearby table are Carolyn Dorn-Ballard, Bill Hoffman and Tom Baker - an awesome, but odd combination. The three of them will be participating in the ‘Clash of Champions’ on Thursday night. Well, now it’s off to our Heavenly Beds. Wednesday, the alarm is set for 6:00 AM. With the body still on Eastern time, I wake at 5:42 and figure I’ll stay up. With a price tag of $15, the breakfast buffet at the hotel seems steep. We find our way over to Panera Bread. We hook up with the Orlando group while we’re there. JJ Garrett is interesting any time of the day. Renew a lot of acquaintances before the first Workshop on “Rules” at 8:00 AM. Chris Cooper, Gary Schmit, Sharon Moen and Tamoria Adams guide us through most of the proposed amendments being presented at this year’s legislative session. Gary will be our guest on our bowling show this Tuesday, May 13. It will be archived on our website – www.gobowlingshow.com for later listening. We have Kelly Kulick lined up for May 20. They also did a presentation on the two-handed approach/release. I think I was set up for the next one. Gary asked if there were any USBC Gold Level Coaches in the room. There are only thirty in the world. Naturally, I raised my hand. Gary asked if I thought the two-handed controversy would be with us for a while. I gave my stock answer. Unless you are Wayne Webb or Carmen Salvino, everyone starts with a two-handed approach. This evolves to a one-handed release when the non-throwing hand comes away from the ball. According to Gary – right answer – even though he had to explain this was not a scripted answer. Another subject to be covered was the do and don’ts of holding a Championship Tournament. Lots of good stuff. At 10:30, I went to “High School Bowling”, as Don split off to “Technology”. When we found Jim Jones, he said he had done “WinLABS” and “Marketing”. After a quick tour of the Exhibit Hall, Don and I took off to find some of Kansas City’s barbecue. Not finding a joint along our straight line through downtown, we headed for the expressway for a roadside stand. Approaching a split in the highway ahead, I noticed some flashing blue and red lights. When we got nearer, the motorcycle officer directed us over to the side of the road. I lowered the passenger window as he approached on that side. He promptly, but courteously, informed me he pulled me over for doing 68 in a 55 mile per hour zone. Quietly, I handed over my driver’s license. He came back and asked me to sign and ticket and warned me to be sure to buckle up next time. I was puzzled. Don pointed out that we both were wearing seatbelts. Coyly, he asked if I would rather have a $10 ticket with no points for not wearing a seatbelt or a $110 ticket for speeding. I signed. This must be the Wild West version of the warning shot over your head. Never the one to waste an opportunity, I asked if we could make this stop productive. “Where can we find a good barbecue joint?” He asked where we were headed, but said the best places were back in town. Make a u-turn up ahead, take 70 East to Paseo, to 18th (“Are you going to remember this?” he asked), cross over Broadway and Arthur Bryant’s is just on your left. He repeated it one more time and we left our newfound friend alongside I-35 in Kansas City. Arthur Bryant’s was indeed the best Kansas City has to offer. It was worth the trip and the ticket. Off to the Convention Center. Check back tomorrow for more of Bill and Don’s Excellent Adventures.